Update from yesterday: I heard from Kevin's wife, the surgery went well. We continue our thoughts and prayers for Kevin's continued well being and recovery.
In an email from a regular reader, Greg Campbell asked one of the questions I found myself asking when first diagnosed.
“Wow. And as an uneducated patient, how do you make the choice? Faith in your doctors I guess.”
I understand Greg's comment. Just as you are trying to deal with the fact you have cancer, you're told there are a number of treatment modalities from which to choose. "No problem Doc...which one do you suggest?"............(insert the sound of crickets chirping here) He only tells you each choice has pros and cons to consider.
Like Greg, I had grown up trusting my doctors and following their advice/direction. However, in today's environment, once diagnosed with a cancer like mine (good outcomes almost assured regardless of the treatment chosen) my trusted physician would only provide information on the options, suggest I further educate myself as much as possible on the advantages and disadvantages of each option, and then make my own selection.
This was my exact response to Greg:
“Trust in doctors is important, but they can't make a choice for you, nor will they. A diagnosis of cancer has a way of focusing your attention and commitment to educate yourself...then, you make the best decision you can and go with it.”
I was lost for about two weeks, talking to anyone who would listen, seeking the advice of survivors about their choices, and reading every article I could find online. It was information overload. "Why the hell won't he just tell me what I ought to do?" I asked myself, "At least he could tell me what he would do if he were in my place."
Of particular frustration was the very knowledge that my chances for a good outcome from the cancer seemed excellent...but the resulting effects of the treatment, should I choose incorrectly, could change my life for weeks, months, years, even...for life. It could change the life of everyone close to me as well.
Once I made my decision, with agreement from Lucia, although still not certain I knew enough to arrive at the best possible decision, I refused to allow any shadow of doubt to cloud my commitment. I had to.
In the end, I found the experience an affirming and liberating one. I now understand and acknowledge I am in control of my health care...a full partner with the medical community.
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